I've Got a Secret

"Tell me a secret" he said quietly, the emerald circle in the center of his eyes holding my icy irises in thrall. The hubbub of the restaurant faded; the sound of desperate actors, hungry patrons, arcade games disappearing until all I could hear was the rushing of the blood in my veins, and the pounding of my suddenly racing heart. I fidgeted with my pen, feeling it flick between my fingers, a concrete mirror of the thoughts in my head.

Looking into his eyes I caught his gaze, "I don't have anymore." I murmured, quickly looking away again, unable to withstand the intensity of his gaze, "You know them all." Out of the corner of my eyes I saw him smile, I saw The Smile, that facial contortion that I knew so well. He had his victory, his sense of accomplishment and I, for the first time in our friendship, had my fear.

What would happen now, now that he knew everything about me? Would he lose interest, find a new vessel of chaos to entertain him? I stared deep into the bubbles of carbonation in my soda, watching them fizz and disappear; could I handle losing him? That thumping in my ears returned, a constant rhythmic message, "you've lost, you've lost, you've lost" my heart seemed to say, the very seat of my affection denying me connection.

I raised my eyes, feeling the seconds tick into minutes and then stretch themselves into hours. Then the laugh, the laugh that I knew, that I hungered for, the laugh that broke the temporal tyranny of my own thoughts. "Good" was the sole reply.

I felt relief, of a sort; and pain, of a sort. Now that I'm completely stripped of my armor, what happens? I guess time will tell, and time is what we have. Summer drags on, Fall holds a promise of geographical proximity, and with that closeness, the threat of even less armor.